Things I’ve been thinking about.
Relationships, identity, anxiety, change, and the strange ways we learn to be people.
I write about the things that tend to get more interesting the longer you look at them.
Hyper-Independence Can Masquerade as Consideration
Some of us become remarkably skilled at expressing our needs in ways that make them almost entirely nonbinding. We ask, then provide the escape hatch. We state the preference, then neutralize it. When does consideration for another person’s autonomy become protection from our own vulnerability?
Does This Even Count as Trauma?
If nothing “that bad” happened, does it still count? Sometimes the more useful question isn’t whether an experience qualifies as trauma, but whether it’s still shaping the way you think, feel, and relate to other people.